Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
