Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
