the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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