I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
