Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
