I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
