"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
