Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
