his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
