That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
