He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
