I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
