i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
