There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
