He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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