it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
