i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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