Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
