what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
