So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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