There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
