What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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