explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
