Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
