the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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