so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she told me i tasted like america
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
