marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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