if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
