i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
