His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've blown a few things in my day
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
