Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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