I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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