I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
