just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
