well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He did a backflip because drugs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
