We won't sleep together?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
