i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
