ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
