As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize