if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
