Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
