The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
