Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
