I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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