i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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