well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
