Porn is love you can see.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
