Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
