From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
