Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize