i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
