Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
