the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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