when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
