Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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