Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
