what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
