What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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