why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
