if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
