Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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