D3 body, D1 cock
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize