made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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