so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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