You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
